Keep Going

I have a client right now who is such a kind, decent person. But also so unsure of his own identity.

I remember feeling that way in college and for a couple years after. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do, I couldn't figure out where I wanted to live. I had a few things about myself figured out: I loved traveling, cooking, animals, but not cooking animals. I still felt really uncertain about me; I was stuck in a place where I was trying to make my life into the pretty picture I had in my mind of what it should be...and it definitely didn't turn out the way I expected.

I'm so thankful for all the experiences I had that led me to where I am, though, and I really understand what my client is going through.

I wish I had an easy solution to finding yourself and knowing what each of my client's should do every step of the way. Unfortunately, they have to figure it out themselves, and that means dropping their own notions about what they "should" be, and also following their own heart, instead of living by other people's dreams and hopes for them.

I believe the first step is to stop being a people pleaser. This is a common theme for me to write about because it's something that I frequently run into in my practice (and my own life!) The more we base what we do in life on what other's want for us, the less likely we are to find out what it is that we really want to do, and even who we really are.

For years if I was around people who I considered "better" than me; older people, people who had more self confidence than me, and people I considered to know more than me, I'd change my opinions to match theirs. I'd fudge the truth. I wouldn't say anything even if I know what they were saying was the complete opposite of what I believed and they were pig-headed jerks.

I just didn't feel sure enough of me to stand up for myself. It felt awful. I think finding the situations and conversations that make us feel that way is one of the keys to getting to our essential selves. If it feels wrong for you, it is. If you're trying to be something you're not, it won't work for long.

Keep trying, keep going, keep following your heart. End cheesy sentence.

Be Joyful!