Countermands

In yesterday's post I mentioned one method to try to figure out what your essential self is trying to tell you, and gave you a quick idea about what might keep you from doing what it says (your buts). I promised to talk more in depth about that part of the equation today.

Let's say you've taken the time to dream big, to find out what makes you feel the most alive, and to set some awesome goals for yourself. But now, no matter what you do, you feel stuck. What's keeping you stuck? You probably think it's all sorts of things, like your responsibility to your job, your mom, your property manager. But it has nothing to do with external forces. It's those nasty false beliefs, rearing their heads again.

The great thing about feeling stuck is you can use your stuck thoughts to move forward! Yay!

Let's say you've gotten to a place where you pictured your ideal day, or filled your happy basket with things that cause joy to seep from your pores. From their you've formulated a plan: I will climb Mount Everest. I will become a cruise ship Captain. I will learn to make pancakes. Unfortunately, if you feel like you can't do anything to get closer to those goals, your mind is doing a number on you. Your mind is commanding one thing and coming back with a counterman, keeping you right where you are.

Here's what I mean:

I want to climb Mount Everest, but I can't afford to make the trip there.

I want to be a cruise ship Captain, but the training is too hard.

I want to learn to make pancakes, but I burn everything I touch.

Trying to argue your way out of this logically, or help a friend out of this mess by offering logical suggestions (get a second job, take a cooking class, etc) doesn't usually work. A conscious or unconscious thought will keep you from moving forward (I can't get a second job, I'm too busy, I can't take a cooking class, there aren't any nearby that focus on pancakes, etc) when you go at it in this manner. You must attack the belief system behind the but.

First, write down the situation like this (again, stealing from the amazing Martha Beck)

Step One: My Stuck State in a Nutshell:

I can't (condition A) __________________________________________
Because (condition B) _________________________________________

Step Two: State the Real Problem

I want to learn to make pancakes, but I burn everything I touch. This is not necessarily a true statement; this is a great time to use the work of Byron Katie, which I referenced here, and you can also read about at her website. Once you've applied these techniques for dissolving false beliefs to your statement, you come up with something like, "I'm choosing not to learn to make pancakes because of the belief that I burn everything I touch. My true self can make pancakes because it knows that me burning everything isn't the problem - my perception that I do that is what's stopping me."

Here is the format for this step:

My mind is choosing not to have (condition A) ______________________________
because it believes (condition B) ________________________________________ is a problem. My true self can create (condition A)_________________________________ because it knows (condition B) _______________________________ isn't the problem - my beliefs are.

Lastly, you must discredit the counterman (condition B). It's simply a belief that has forced you into believing external reality is keeping you from achieving your dream, but it's your belief system. Try this to take your next steps:

Discrediting Your Countermand

First thing I would do if I did not believe condition B _______________________________
Second thing I would do if I did not believe condition B _____________________________
Third thing I would do if I did not believe condition B ______________________________

Go do one of those steps, right now! Seriously! It will prove your mind was wrong! It was your belief system all along.

Be Joyful!