A Bunch of Stuff I May or May Not Blog About

Today I was at ye olde Verizone Store getting a new cell phone (it's purple! I love it!) and that always takes a while, so I jotted down some notes about what I might blog about today. It will be a surprise to everyone, including me, what actually makes it on the post today!

I'm going to be Frank. No, never mind, I'm going to stay Jen, but I'm going to be honest. Remember a few weeks ago I had that weird tongue thing going on and was completely freaking out? I made the list of things I was thankful for? Well, that night I had a panic attack, something that has never happened to me before. In fact, I didn't even know it was a panic attack until I was looking up what I had experienced: heart thumping, shaking, sweating, lots of swearing. That last one may just be me.

Last night I was EXHAUSTED, stressed about 2.3 billion things, and just not feeling my best. I woke up from sleep and again felt freaked out, like I couldn't swallow or something, and I went back into panic attack mode. This time I knew what it was, so I hit "the google" and typed in something along the lines of, "I don't want this panic attack to kill me or last all night, how do I fix it!?!?!?" and got all sorts of neat ideas on calming myself out of the panic attack.

You know what was so funny about all of the suggestions? They relate directly back into what I already teach my clients and thought I was teaching myself: It's our mind that needs to be talked down. Our thoughts are causing the stress. You are going to hear me say it over and over and over, our thoughts cause suffering. Yes, there is real pain and suffering, but other than the initial grief period in dealing with these issues, the rest of our pain comes from our thoughts.

Last night might thoughts were, "I can't breathe and I'm going to die." Obviously, that kind of thought will send you over the edge, and is, in a way, self-reinforcing, because I sure felt like I was going to die! But I felt like that because my thoughts affected my body, not because I was really going to die. So, I breathed deeply, worked on quieting my mind, and got over it.

I always struggle with wanting to appear perfect and well balanced, especially since I'm coaching other people on issues in their own lives, but I need to keep owning up to the fact that I am anything but! I have fears just like anyone else, and mine probably come up even more often because I'm so keenly aware of them.

Hopefully this makes me a better coach, and better writer and blogger, because I want people to know the truth about me. I'm afraid. I am doing new and challenging things in my life and relying on myself in a way I have never done before. But I'm happy to be here, happy to be alive, and wouldn't trade in this new stuff that's popped for anything, because that would mean I was stuck in my old life!

Hmm, did I say anything helpful in this post? I can tell you that if you suffer from panic attacks the most helpful advice I read last night came from this site. The advice is basically four steps: Relax, stop negative thinking, use coping statements, accept your feelings. Jeez, sounds like a life coach talking to me!

Be Joyful!